Category: Uncategorized
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Nature
Not sure what it is about NATURE, but here I sit at the table looking out into the woods surrounded by snow, trees, birds, the pond and the quiet solitude of it all and I feel as if I have no worries in the world. I needed this getaway from the city life. I needed…
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REAL
The emotions are strong, everyone of them I feel. Life is here in the moment, is this really real. As I sit and wonder about my life, am I a good mother and wife. Did I do something wrong along the way, why I am I facing this all today? There is no answers to…
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Different
Today I feel DIFFERENT, I don’t know what is happening or why I feel like this. It feels as though I’m not in the moment, like I’m hovering from above and looking down at my life and nothing is moving, my life is at a standstill. It’s as if I’m stuck here and always will…
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Not Knowing
I used to live my life day to day. I would go to bed, wake up and just live. Now I go to bed NOT KNOWING every night what the day will bring, I have a hard time sleeping, some nights I don’t even want to sleep for fear something may go wrong and I…
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Distance
I read a quote today that really sums up life, “You won’t realize the DISTANCE you’ve walked until you take a look back and realize how far you’ve been”. In my life I’ve never noticed the DISTANCE until recently. As I stop and look at my life, the distance is so apparent to me now.…
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Hello Nosebleed
This LVAD and everything that goes along with it keeps you on your toes. Nothing like a early morning nosebleed that wakes you up and gets you running. Joe is on a blood thinner called Warfarin. He has to be on this medication because of the LVAD. It keeps his blood thin to prevent blood…
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Toxic
Did you ever have to cut TOXIC people out of your life and it was the hardest decision you ever had to make? Been there, done that! Everyone thinks it’s so easy to do, but in reality it’s a struggle each day. Did I do the right thing? Why do they play victim to the…
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The Old Days
Did you ever miss the old days? Can’t believe I’m even old enough to say that, but I am. As I sat scrolling Facebook through some of my old friends pages, I started to feel really old. It seems just like yesterday that we were all hanging out, partying with no cares in the world.…
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Update
Well, the decision has been made to go ahead with the endoscopy procedure. As we weighed the pros and cons together, Joe feels that it’s necessary for him to be healthy again. We got the call yesterday and the procedure is going to be done on February 27th. It took a lot of thinking and…
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People
Ever wonder why God places people in your life? I never thought about it until today while sitting in the waiting room at cardiac rehab. Throughout the years we have had a lot of people come in and out of our lives, only a few have stayed over the years. As I sat talking with…
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Anxiety
Calm, cool, collective that’s what most people see on the outside. If you don’t live with anxiety then you will never know the torment of it. Anxiety will make you lose control, consume you and devour your very being. It’s been years since this “A” word made my life a living hell. Seeking professional help…
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Unconditional Love
The definition of unconditional love is: to love without conditions. Love without conditions is a very hard thing to learn, accept and adapt too. Loving someone is easy, loving them unconditionally is a challenge for most people. I’m not going to lie, it was a challenge for me. When I met Joe, I wasn’t really…
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Purpose
Did you ever feel like you didn’t have a purpose in life? Well, I have a few times and it hit me to the very core of my soul. When my kids were younger, I had a purpose in life. I was their mom and they needed me. I know as a mom your kids…
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Decisions
Yesterday we got a call from Joe’s gastro doctor, the surgery he had in May to fix his damaged duodenum isn’t working the way it should. The doctors bypass the duodenum and reattached to the stomach creating a new site for the food to go through. Well the food is still going through the old…
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Silence
Did you ever sit and listen to SILENCE? I’ve tried, but in reality there is noise everywhere. Today I got up early and sat in my chair, I just wanted to sit in the SILENCE of the morning. As I sat here there is so much to hear in the SILENCE. I hear the rumble…
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Photos
The other day I was looking through photos for my daughter and as I went through them the tears started to flow. The photos show a different man, a man that has changed, my husband is not the same and the photos really made me sad. I can’t believe what a difference a year has…
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Snow
As I watch the SNOW fall today, the white fluff that most everyone dislikes has a significant meaning to me. Most people know about it, on the day my mom passed away the snow started to fall right after, it was the first snow fall of that year. As we watched from the window of…
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Selfless
I do the things I do, because I love you. There’s nothing that I lack, I don’t want a pat on the back. I’m your wife, you’re my whole life. You chose to live, I choose to give. You’re giving it your all, I will not let you fall. I will put my life on…
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Blessings
Most of us don’t realize the BLESSINGS we are given daily. I am one of those people. I sometimes know right as the blessing happens, but other times it may take me a long time to see the actual blessing. Blessings aren’t always what you might expect, but they are there and I feel God…
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Reassurance
REASSURANCE is the action of removing someone’s doubts or fears. How does one reassure someone when they are so unassured themselves. My husband has lost everything, his job, his health, his appearance, his ability to take of himself, his self esteem, his strength and that’s just to name a few. It’s hard for me to…
Unconditional Love 