Unconditional Love

This is the update to Winging It, WE DID IT. We packed the car up and headed to the Sunshine State. Joe decided to drive and that was a little nerve racking for me, as I’m so used to doing all the driving for the past four years. I decided to sit back and take in all the sights as we drove. The sun coming up, the scenery, the towns we drove through, I got to enjoy just seeing as he drove. My heart was happy that he felt in control and more like himself the whole time.

As we traveled we laughed and talked about how this week was going to go. We want to make the best of the trip and get to know her family. It’s never easy meeting new people, especially sharing a house with them for a whole week. Our first stop was in Tennessee for the night and we were going to meet up with our son, his girlfriend and some of her kids. We got there in the evening and it was late, we decided to grill dinner and eat real quick before going to bed. Her daughters came and met us. It was an awkward introduction and seemingly cold. But I’m sure they were just as nervous as we were. They had their own room and we shared with my son. We ate and off to bed we went. It was a long day, a long drive and we were all ready just to rest.

Morning came way too early as it does everyday for me, up at 5 am and showered, Joe followed. We headed downstairs to the hotel lobby for some much needed coffee. As we sat watching the sun come up we didn’t know what to think of this new family entering into ours. We question each other about her, her kids, what was our son taking on, and as most every parent we were a little concerned. Our son is dating a woman with a ready made family, kids, grandkids, boyfriends of the daughters, he was going to take on a family that wasn’t his own and I’m not sure he was ready for all this. I’m not sure we were ready for all this.

As we sat talking about it, my son and his girlfriend came down with the grandson and joined us for breakfast. Afterwhile her daughters and the boyfriend joined us and we weren’t ready for what was about to walk through the lobby. I hate being judgmental and I know you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover, but…the stares from the other people in the lobby spoke volumes as to the way things were going to go during the whole trip. They were not what we were used to being around, they were definitely different than the standards we instilled in our kids. All we could think was, “What are thinking Joey?” and as wrong as that felt typing it, it was as wrong as we should of felt thinking it. But here we are with them for a whole week and I’m not sure Joe is going to adapt them, but for our son’s sake we need to look past the outer cover and focus on the inner. Let’s hope they aren’t as damaged as they looked.

They sat at a different table and ate breakfast, we ate ours and as I watch my son care for the little grandson help get his food, wipe his mouth, make him mind, I knew in my heart he was placed in their lives to show them love. As hard as it was to understand why he decided to be with her and her family, I know it’s a path he was put on and he needed to be in their lives as much as they needed to be in his. I’m going on with this trip knowing what God is doing and embracing each moment we share with our son. We have to see the good in all this and make the best of the week ahead. Maybe he put us on this trip with them for a reason. Maybe we are here to learn a lesson. Maybe we need this encounter just as much as they do.

We started on the road and made a stop in Alabama, what a nice state. We stopped at a little BBQ stand and of course my husband was talking to the locals and after a 10 minute chat he now wants to move there. As much as I would love to move to a warmer state, this is not happening. We also stopped in at the famous Buckee’s truck stop. We all went in and did some browsing and a little souvenir shopping. As I walked around the store I quietly watched from the distance at my son interacting with his new family. Although it’s not really his family, he has become a part of them and this is the reality of his relationship. If you take on a girlfriend, that girlfriend and her family becomes a part of your life. This is his life I’m watching and learning that he has assumed his role in her life. My wish for him is to be happy and so far that’s what I have seen.

Next stop, Florida and a week that will probably forever change all of us. We arrived in Destin, Florida to the house they chose for their vacation stay. It’s huge, it’s very beautiful and it’s not something that I’m sure they are used too, nor are we. As we unloaded our luggage and put things away, I wandered about the house checking things out until her parents and the rest of her family arrived from the airport. I was still nervous about meeting her family. I didn’t know if I wanted to be close to them or keep them at a distance just incase this relationship didn’t work out. I was struggling with all this now that I was here.

They arrived and welcomed us with open arms, they weren’t awful. It wasn’t that bad. I just hope this is what my son really wants and that they would be a good fit for him. I wasn’t easy seeing him interact with them because he really didn’t do that with us since he moved out West. I’m not going to lie, I was a little jealous that he was sharing his life with them more than he did with us. My heart, mind and soul was a tangled mess, but I needed to see him happy and I hoping this week shows me he’s okay.

As we settled in getting to know them, we did some sightseeing, cooked together, went to some tourist attractions and just hung out with people that are going to be in my son’s life for awhile. He seemed like this was a fit for him even though we are still skeptical about the whole thing. Why can’t I just let it go and let it be? Why does everything that happens have to have a reason behind it? Why didn’t I feel attached to this girl and her family? My son was happy, shouldn’t I be? I guess as a mother you always want what’s best for your kids and I just wasn’t feeling the best yet. I’ll just give it time.

We made it through the week and it wasn’t as bad as we thought. Joe is still a little on edge with the whole built in family, but my son seems happy and that’s all that matters in the end. Her intentions seem good, her love for him seems real. It’s really all I can hope for him that he’s found true love and will live his life happy. He’s not alone and he is experiencing life with a partner that loves him isn’t that what life is truly about. LOVE.

God’s not done writing his story and I’m glad I get to witness my children and the story God is continuing to write. Live, Love and be Loved you both deserve all the happiness in the world. We Did it so can you.