Unconditional Love

It’s that time of the year, the weather changes, the leaves falls and the clouds turn grey. Sometimes I feel like the seasons that come and go. My life this year feels cold. I feel like fall and winter rolled up in bundle that’s tied so tightly there’s no undoing the knot. Cold is not me but I can’t help but feel the chill overcoming my whole being. I just want to feel warm again like a warm summer day laying in the sand as the warmth wraps it’s arms around you and never lets you go. I’m warm deep inside but the cold has taken over.

I can’t be the only one that feels this way every now and then. I can’t be the only one stuck in cold wanting the warmth. Our life paths give us such challenges and this by far is the hardest challenge I have been handed. I’m sure there are more to come. The quotes in life says the strongest people survive the toughest challenges, but why must my life continue to test my strength. Haven’t I proven my strength already? Haven’t I survived many seasons both warm and cold? Life keeps the seasons coming and it seems I never get a break. The warmth needs to stick around for awhile and embrace the strong me as I am.

The older I get the harder it is to endure the cold. This season has changed so many. I don’t know if the warmth will make things better, the damage has been done and as I try to move on from this challenge I’m not the same and neither is anyone for that matter. The darkness has taken over and the light is behind the grey clouds of this thing called life, the rays of light are there but the cold is fading them away. The tunnel is long and the light that’s at the end needs to return and shine brighter.

I am the light at the end of that tunnel. I’m trying to find a way to bring on warmer days. But when the warmth comes I fear the cold will only return, so I keep the light on dim as to not get disappointed over and over. All the challenges of life have taught me to be this way and it’s not easy to shine when you know the darkness is there waiting to take away and glimmer of light you have. I know most of you wouldn’t understand how I feel, I know it’s easier to say keep your head up and things will get better, I know things will get better because I’ve been there and done that several times. It’s knowing things won’t stay better for long and the light will fade again and darkness will take away the warmth and the cold will return. Maybe it’s just easier to stay COLD.