Unconditional Love

I tore down my walls years ago and let people into my circle. Now as of today the walls are being put back in place, my circle has become smaller and I really don’t think some of this wall will never come down again. It protects and keeps out all that I knew could never be.

We’ve built a life, had kids, have a home, had friends, thought everything was perfect and the walls slowly came down in my heart and we were living. We trusted the road we were on, we were going through the motions, we were clueless as to what we were going to be facing. We had no idea the loss we were about to endure, yet here we are in the midst of this storm and it is raging.

May 23, 2019 had changed our whole world. As I look back on the past two years, each brick that has been laid around my heart has dropped many tears from my eyes. The loss of freedom, friends, family and life, has built a wall so high that no one will ever penetrate it again. When you leave someone in a storm and the flood arises, so does the wall. Don’t expect to ever enter that realm again. It truly hardens the wall and makes for a very small circle. Things will never be the same in my world.

If you’re not here in my present situation, you will not be here in the future. I am a warrior and have survived more battles than you will ever imagine. I’ve stood alone many times and I will continue to stand alone inside my walls that protect me.

I’ve let people back in and they still stand outside that wall and will continue to be outside as I struggle each day trying to cope with this. Just because there’s an illness doesn’t mean you get to be back in my circle. Please know that when the illness is no longer, you will no longer be. I know this for a fact.

I tried with no walls, some walls and a full set of walls. I’m done being vulnerable to all the drama that comes with letting the walls down. I am going to live how I want too and no one will stand in my way. I’m stronger with the walls so here they will stay. It’s OUR LIFE now and we stand ALONE!!