Unconditional Love

The unknown is something we all struggle with, most of us in our own ways are afraid of the unknown. The unknown could be just about anything. It could be the unknown of tomorrow, our health, life, will we wake up, will my kids be productive adults, the future or financial stability. The not knowing drives most people crazy in their own minds.

My struggle has been going on for many years and I’ve learned to deal with it most of my life. As I get older the UNKNOWN truly scares the hell out of me. Getting older makes you feel empty, lost or afraid because you don’t truly know what may happen. Life is short and not knowing what each day may bring gives you a false sense of security.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the life I have and I don’t want to change it, I want to keep it. I want to know what will happen, I want to embrace every obstacle that is throw at me, I want to live the best life knowing everything will be just fine. But how do you do that when the UNKNOWN is there lingering in the shadows?

In my younger years I’ve never really thought about life and the UNKNOWN, I just lived. When I became pregnant at the age of twenty-one, I didn’t think about the UNKNOWN or being a parent, or even how I was going to take of the baby, or how I was going to afford the baby, I just did it. There was no fear of the UNKNOWN. I liked life this way, I was content and I didn’t have to question anything. Life was much easier when I was younger.

Then I turned thirty and all of sudden the UNKNOWN showed up on the doorstep and has become quite a big part of my life now. It’s alive and thriving most days and I truly do not like the UNKNOWN. I know it started appearing the first time Joe was diagnosed with cancer and we had no clue if he was going to live. They gave him two months to live and this is when the UNKNOWN was unleashed.

After the diagnosis it was stressful on all of us. Will he live? Will he wake up each morning? Will the chemo cause another cancer? Will he want to give up? If he died how will I be strong enough for my kids? What will life be without him? Will the kids know he loved them with all his heart? Will the kids be alright? So many UNKNOWNS after the diagnosis.

Now here we are twenty some years later still asking the same questions over and over again. I try my best each day to get up and live life to the fullest. We’ve had to change a lot of things and still have that dreaded UNKOWN staring us in the face. Life is not easy but we have learned to adapt to all that’s been placed at our feet and the UNKNOWN will not win this time.

When we wake up each morning we greet it with a hug and a kiss. We say to each other we made it through the night and it will be a good day because we are alive. We just have to let go of the UNKNOWN and just be alive from moment to moment. This is our life and it’s the way it’s suppose to be. I truly BELIEVE that and I’m trying to get back to my younger self and just live.

A quote from Jeff McClung “Don’t let the fear of the UNKNOWN keep you from experiencing a life greater than you have ever known. After reading this I realized that if I worry about the UNKNOWN it will truly hold me back from greater things. Let life happen as it will, you can’t stop your life plan, so just live.