Unconditional Love

The REALITY of how you feel doesn’t always fit in with the REALITY of your life. What I mean by this is I’m not always feeling good in some situations in life and I have to retained my feelings in order not to hurt the ones I love. The old saying “The truth will set you free” is far from being truthful. Because although it may set you free, it may hurt the ones you love.

How does one live with that in all REALITY? I’m talking about if they cook something you absolutely hate but they are proud of it, do you tell them it’s not good or save their feelings from being hurt? Or is it your place to correct them when they are doing wrong and they see no wrong in it? When you love someone and loathe them at the same time, do you keep putting on a front because you know it will hurt that person, but your sanity is at risk? Did you ever make a choice and all REALITY it was the worst mistake ever and even the truth can’t fix it? How do you have peace with the struggles in your own mind and heart. How does the TRUTH set you free?

I’ve been struggling with a lot lately and I find it very difficult to even find my own peace of mind. I’ve prayed, meditated and reflected over so many things these past few months and I’m not sure if I’ll ever know the answers, but hurting people is just not me and the TRUTH is not the best for these situations and that I feel its tearing me apart. I can’t come to peace with myself and I want to run away from it all. Guess I need to dig deeper and pray more.

I know each and every struggle set before me is God’s doing. I know he is testing me and I feel I’m failing in all areas. My strength is compromised, my sanity is at an all time low and I was once carefree and loving. I don’t want to be this new person, I don’t want to be negative, I don’t want to hate but in all REALITY it’s who I am right now and this REALITY sucks!