Unconditional Love

Scared, nervous, on edge and arguing because of these emotions. The appointment was at 1:00 pm, of course we are up early because lack of sleep. Not only are we thinking about the procedure but also about our niece who is in the fight of her life and the outcome is something no parent should have to go through. The unknowing of Joe’s outcome has the situation escalating more out of control today.

As I signed Joe into the Endoscopy Unit the nurse took him right back, she then came to the front desk and waited for me. This has never happened before, she needed me in the prep room until the LVAD coordinator arrived because they aren’t trained on the equipment my husband is attached too. That went over REALLY well with me, NOT!!! I already have a bad taste in my mouth about all this and she just added to the flavor.

We went through all the regular questions, talked to the anesthesiologist and the doctor. We are now waiting for his coordinator so they can start the procedure. As we wait Joe wants to go home, he doesn’t want to do this procedure, he is obviously scared and I’m not going to lie, I am too. Allison is here and it’s time, she sees we are a little on edge and says don’t worry Joe we got this. As I kiss my husband and they wheel him off my heart sinks into my chest. I find my way to the waiting room and sink into my chair and just pray.

The time in the waiting room was a blur, I’m not sure how long I sat there but the door opened and the coordinator appeared and said we are all done. I almost didn’t want to ask if everything was alright. Before I could say anything she said, “GOOD NEWS, everything went well, there was no blockage, no tumors, everything looked normal. They did take a few “snippings” and will send them off to the lab, but he did good. ” The weight lifted and I was able to breathe, be back in the moment and know we were going to be okay.

The doctor came in and said the stomach looked a little irritated, but the bypass sites look good and everything is flowing okay but there is an excess of bile going into the stomach and sometimes it takes longer for that to work itself out after a big surgery. He didn’t want to prescribe anymore meds, which is good and they will just keep an eye on things and see how it goes over the next few months. This was our GOOD NEWS.

The BAD NEWS is never easy to hear when a loved one has passed. We got the call at 6:00 pm last night that our niece passed away. She was fighting a terrible battle with cancer and it took her life. My heart breaks for her mother, I can’t even imagine the loss she feels right now. Even though she was an adult with children of her own, her mother will feel the loss more than anyone. I know God has a plan for everyone, not sure what the plan was when he took a young mother with four kids.

We know life is short and there’s no guarantee how long you will be on this Earth, cherish each day as if it were your last. Love, laugh and live while you can. Never stop fighting for life and be your own warrior in all the battles you face. Please pray for my sister law in, the mother that lost her child tonight and the children of my niece, that lost their mother, and all the family members who are feeling the loss, they are and have been facing the most difficult battle of their lives. Rest in peace Amanda, love you.