Unconditional Love

Today I feel DIFFERENT, I don’t know what is happening or why I feel like this. It feels as though I’m not in the moment, like I’m hovering from above and looking down at my life and nothing is moving, my life is at a standstill. It’s as if I’m stuck here and always will be.

This one is hard to explain, especially since I don’t understand what I’m feeling. I sat today and stared at the TV and didn’t even know what I was watching and I was perfectly okay with that. I felt like the world was moving fast around me and I just stayed in one place, I was okay with that too. Now as I type and think about all of this, I’m okay if my life stays right here in this moment and doesn’t move.

Maybe it’s just me thinking we are okay right now and I don’t want anything else to happen. If my world stays in a standstill I won’t have to deal with anything, I’m totally okay with that too. But I know I need to move forward, get things done and keep life moving. But somehow my whole being feels like this moment, even if it feels DIFFERENT is the best it’s ever going to get.

I don’t like feeling like this, I don’t want to feel DIFFERENT, I want to feel normal again. I want my life back. I want my husband back, I want ….guess it’s not about what I want anymore and that may be the reason I feel so DIFFERENT. Tomorrow is a new day, maybe it will be better tomorrow.