Unconditional Love

As I write in this Blog each day I find myself SOUL SEARCHING. I’m sure as most caregivers do, I try to find peace in my world. While I’m caring for Joe I feel that my soul needs to be uplifted, calmed and returned to happiness that once was. I find the calmness here in my blog, I uplift myself with searching for quotes that pertain to the day and returning to happiness is the one thing that has been the most difficult.

How do you return to happiness when life is treating you so unfairly. Most of the people I have shared this blog with know me and my life to an extent. The ones I have shared the struggles with will understand. The struggle is not only with Joe and his health but with people that have came and gone in our lives, including family. I am a true believer that things happen for a reason.

As the days and months go by, we find our circle smaller and smaller. I just read a quote today that really sent me SOUL SEARCHING, this is what it said, “Be careful who you vent to, a listening ear can also be a running mouth.” We all need that person, the one to go to when you just need to vent, the listening ear. Well, I have entrusted several of my friends whom I thought I could vent too and not worry about what I have said to them. Well, I was wrong and reading that quote made me realize that who do you turn too when you need to vent, who do you trust with your thoughts, venting to a friend should not arm them with ammo against you, it should just be venting and that’s all.

I am glad I have that one person, and she has been a blessing. I don’t have to disclose her name, I know her. She knows me. As I SOUL SEARCH through this journey I’ve been given, it has made me close my circle even tighter around me. The less people I let in, the more peace I find. Why is that? Why do people have to become your unhappiness? I guess I need to keep SEARCHING to find the answers.