Unconditional Love

PATIENCE is one thing you have to have in order to be a caregiver to someone whose illness can change every hour of the day. My patience has been tested to the limits the last several months. I can plan things and become so excited to do it and then things take a turn for the worst and my plans have to be changed. I know Joe can’t control what is going to happen when it does and I had to learn to accept the ever changing issues that arise.

Life with this LVAD and the stomach issues plays a major role in how we do things. I’m doing well with accepting that some days we will not be able to do what I want, and we have to cancel plans and just stay home. I understand that he’s sick and it takes a lot out of him to do the normal things in life. But I’m not going to lie and say I don’t get upset because if I didn’t get upset I wouldn’t be human. Getting upset is a normal emotion, talking it out and letting it go is also a new way for us to communicate. I have to let him know that it hurts me to have to cancel my plans and yes I’m upset, but I know his health and well being is more important and I’m going to be fine. I will have to sacrifice a lot in life for him and I don’t blame him for this. None of this is his fault, he doesn’t want to be sick or even have the LVAD, is it fair? No!! But it’s something we have to learn to accept, good or bad.

When I start to get angry and lose my PATIENCE, I have to go in the bathroom cry it out and then suck it up and remember that this is how it’s going to be and neither of us can control Joe’s health issues. The hardest part of all of this is trying to get others to understand that we can’t plan ahead and if we do make plans we may have to cancel them, sometimes right before we have to go. But when Joe is sick, he’s sick and there’s no in between. We do what we have to do and life still goes on.

If I could give any caregiver advice, it would be learn PATIENCE and continue to apply it everyday. Don’t ever feel like your love one is a burden either, they didn’t ask to be sick. If you truly love them, that’s all that matters. Work together as a team, show compassion, make each other a priority in life and love each other while you can. When your love one is gone, you are going to wish you had done more, loved more or helped them a little more. So do your best to give your all to them everyday, life is definitely to short to sit and feel sorry for yourself. I’ve had my moments, but I pull up my big girl pants and move on. Life happens and it’s okay.